Four steps to reducing your sensitivity at the workplace

The journey of separating professional roles from one’s own personal worth is certainly complex.

Undoubtedly, in the intricate tapestry of the Kenyan corporate world, we as professionals face a unique challenge of maintaining emotional equilibrium amidst the highs and lows of our careers. What we show on the outside regarding our emotions at the office often stands different from our real hidden emotions churning within us.
Take the story of Kipkorir, a financial advisor at a prominent bank in Nairobi. In a career spanning over a decade, Kipkorir always stood out for his dedication and skill.

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However, beneath the surface of his professional successes, Kipkorir often found his emotional well-being tethered at every project and interaction at work. The deep intertwining of personal identity with professional roles, while common among high achievers, increasingly becomes a tightrope walk between personal well-being and professional responsibility.
The phenomenon Kipkorir faces is not isolated. Many professionals, and admittedly this author included, especially those who identify as sensitive strivers, often find their sense of self heavily influenced by workplace dynamics. Such individuals typically find every feedback session, team meeting, or project outcome resonates deeply and, inasmuch, impacts not just their job performance but also their self-esteem, self-efficacy, and identity.
So in doing, it blurs their personal and professional boundaries. Even though it shows a testament to their commitment, it can also lead to emotional fatigue and a skewed perspective of workplace interactions.

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Luckily, the journey of separating professional roles from one’s own personal worth is certainly complex, but is not hopeless and insurmountable. Someone can change.
Melody Wilding in the Harvard Business Review shares a fascinating look at crucial steps to take.
 First, acknowledge and manage emotional responses. It means someone must start recognising the ebb and flow of workplace emotions without allowing them to steer one’s sense of self or decision-making process.
As an example, when faced with criticism or conflict, instead of immediately internalising these as personal failures in one’s broader life, sensitive strivers need to utilise imperative action and take a step back to assess and respond with objectivity.
Second, challenging one’s own internal assumptions plays a pivotal role. Professionals like Kipkorir often benefit from reframing their interpretations of workplace interactions. A colleague’s terse feedback or a supervisor’s lukewarm response to a proposal may not necessarily reflect personal inadequacy.
In fact, their response might not have anything to do with you at all. Instead, their response could be influenced by a myriad of other factors bombarding their lives and they just did not muster up an adequate response. Seeking clarification and understanding the context helps in breaking the cycle of negative internalisation and taking the workplace to personally.
Third, building resilience to fear and discomfort through gradual exposure to challenging situations also marks a key strategy. As professionals, we must increase our tolerance and improve our ability to bounce back. Such an approach not only fosters emotional strength but reshapes one’s identity from fragility to resilience. Learning to embrace and grow from seemingly hurtful experiences can profoundly alter one’s professional journey.
Fourth, mentally reframing our perceived failures and extracting lessons from setbacks rather than interpreting them as personal shortcomings can lead to a more balanced and constructive professional as well as personal life. It becomes about shifting the focus from “why is this happening to me” to “what can I learn from this?” to “how can I rebound faster from similar situations?” to finally “how will this make me better in the future?”.

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In conclusion, the quest for emotional balance in the corporate world does not merely subside around managing responses to external stimuli but also about a deeper transformation of how we as professionals view ourselves in relation to our work.

As the lines between personal identity and professional roles continue to blur, mastering this delicate balance becomes increasingly crucial. It becomes a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and ultimately, a path to a more fulfilling professional life.