“Each painting is a conversation, my way to express the pain and beauty of being alive.”
How has your family’s history influenced the emotional undertones of your
work?
It was this past year that shaped those undertones. I can say I faced all my biggest fears within that time, dealing with loss, grief, loneliness – it got to a point where I feel like I became almost fearless. I was thinking about that recently when my friend asked me what my biggest fear was and I couldn’t really answer that question anymore. What if you experienced them already? From there, I got pushed in a state of reflection which forced me to confront all that had happened. I wanted to fully
experience it and create something from it, so I chose to isolate myself for a few
months. And out came “Silent Echoes”.
What central ideas or emotions are you exploring through your current collection of paintings?
For me, looking at my paintings is like reading my diary or looking into a mirror. I explored feelings like love and sadness, but also peace and anger. Each painting is a conversation, my way to express the pain and beauty of being alive.
What inspired you to use Dobermans as a central motif in this collection, and what do they signify for you personally?
When I started sketching the Dobermans, I didn’t know why. I just sketched what came up in my head. If you look at Dobermans, they look so majestic, loyal and elegant, but also protective, intimidating and powerful. After I finished the first oil paint I understood the “why” and connected the dots. All those contrasts and
characteristics showed the transformation that I’ve been through. When I stood in
front of the painting I felt like the dogs protected me, but I painted them, which meant
I’m protecting myself. That was the moment when I felt something really personal
and special, especially in a phase while I was dealing with a lot of shit.
I started with the sketches at my dad’s apartment in Germany when he was still alive. Three months later when I finished the last oil paint, he passed away. I really don’t know how my year would have been If I didn’t paint this series. Lifesaver, if you want to call it that. While painting I felt stronger – even if a painting made me feel frustrated and mad. It’s for sure the most personal collection I’ve ever created.
