Hmm, what could Amazon Studios mean? On Twitter, the producers of the long-in-the-works Lord of the Rings TV series have finally shared a synopsis, but it’s full of obscure hints about “great powers… forged,” and “the greatest villain that ever flowed from Tolkien’s pen.” Inscrutable, yes? Nobody can figure out such complex hints — though we must admit, the words seem to have a familiar ring. The serialized epic was first announced in 2017 as a prequel to Peter Jackson’s twin trilogies, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. We later learned that JD Payne and Patrick McKay will handle showrunning duties, and that the events will take place in the Second Age, as described in Tolkien’s The Silmarillion. Second Age — that rings a bell. Isn’t that when the big bad villa...
The Pitch: After years in development hell, Disney is unveiling its attempt at a new franchise with the adaptation of Eoin Colfer’s first Artemis Fowl novel. With a cast that includes Colin Farrell, Josh Gad, and Dame Judi Dench, and esteemed director Kenneth Branagh behind the camera, what could go wrong? What Went Wrong: Well, just about everything. The one mercy of Artemis Fowl is that it’s short, clocking in at just 94 minutes including its end credits. Unfortunately, that gives Branagh and credited screenwriters Conor McPherson and Hamish McColl plenty of time to create confusing character motivations, half-assed attempts at emotional gravitas, and stabs at humor that are best left unsaid or unseen. For those of us who haven’t read the Colfer books, Artemis Fowl fails to tell its most...
All Aboard: Nearly seven years after scientists accidentally froze the Earth to its core and the last of humanity boarded Mr. Wilford’s 1,001-car ark of a train, the unticketed stowaway class in the vessel’s tail plan insurrection against the higher classes. Their meager rebellion, doomed from the start, mercifully gets cut short when one of its leaders, Andre Layton (Daveed Diggs), a homicide detective in his previous life, gets summoned by Head of Hospitality Melanie Cavill (Jennifer Connelly) to solve a murder towards the front of the train. Not only does working this freezing “cold case” allow Layton the opportunity to gather intelligence and form alliances up-train necessary to the rebellion, but he also stumbles upon a complicated web of secrets and lies woven to keep Wilford’s etern...