WTF
“Extreme Suffering”: 15 of 23 Monkeys with Elon Musk’s Neuralink Brain Chips Reportedly Died
Out of a total of 23 monkeys implanted with Elon Musk’s Neuralink brain chips at the University of California Davis between 2017 and 2020, at least 15 reportedly died. Via Business Insider and the New York Post, the news comes from the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, an animal-rights group that viewed over 700 pages of documents, veterinary records, and necropsy reports through a public records request at the university. Neuralink was founded in 2016 with a goal of helping people recover from traumatic brain and spinal cord injuries, curing depression and other mental health disorders, and connecting humans to the internet for everything from music streaming to near-telepathic communication. The company has often touted its successes, such as a demonstration on a p...
Soup Nazi? Marjorie Taylor Greene Says Nancy Pelosi Leads Secret “Gazpacho Police”
Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene has a long history of making statements that are both very dumb and horrifyingly vile, but this week she said something that’s stew-pid even by her broth-taking standards. In an attempt to compare California Rep. Nancy Pelosi to Adolf Hitler, with the implicit goal of framing the Democratic Party as so malicious that any action against them is justifiable, Greene momentarily forgot the word Gestapo and implied that Pelosi has a soup-er secret police force. “Pelosi’s gazpacho police [are] spying on members of Congress, spying on the legislative work that we do, spying on our staff and spying on American citizens that want to come talk to their representatives,” she said on One America News on February 8th. There’s a couple of things going on here. The lin...
Kevin Hart Gifted Nick Cannon a Condom Vending Machine After News of Eighth Child
Upon hearing that Nick Cannon was expecting his eighth child, Kevin Hart sent him a large gift box with dozens of individually-wrapped presents: a condom vending machine. Cannon announced on his talk show last week that model Bre Tiesi is pregnant with his child. A few days later, he shared with his Instagram followers a picture of a condom vending machine, though he wasn’t sure where it had come from. Yesterday, Hart took credit. “I see u got my gift @nickcannon ….GOTCHA BITCH!!!!!!” he wrote. “Now u don’t have an excuse because the condoms are free.” He added the hashtag, “#PrankWars.” Advertisement Related Video Cannon seemed less than amused. He responded in the post’s comments, “This is not a laughing matter Kevin,” along with emojis of hands with one particular finger raised. Via Peo...
World’s Worst Rapper Arrested in $4.5 Billion Crypto Crime
Heather Morgan, who has released some of history’s most jaw-droppingly bad rap music under the name Razzlekhan, was arrested on Tuesday alongside her husband Ilya “Dutch” Lichtenstein for stealing $4.5 billion in cryptocurrency. According to the federal criminal complaint, accounts linked to Lichtenstein allegedly hacked into a virtual currency exchange in 2016, initiating over 2,000 unauthorized transactions and making off with 119,754 in Bitcoin. Later, Razzlekhan and Lichtenstein purportedly laundered the funds through a series of crypto wallets. At the time of the theft it would have been worth about $71 million, but due to BTC’s soaring valuation, it could net them about $4.5 billion today. It’s unclear when the pair began dating, but they got engaged in 2019 and married last yea...
Fret Not, Pete Davidson: Kanye West Just Sold His Tank
Good news for Pete Davidson: Kanye West is no longer in possession of his tank. Yes, at some point in the last few years, the rapper had purchased a Ripsaw EV2, a self-described “luxury, high-performance, go-fast super tank” that retails for over half a million dollars. West posed with the tank in a 2020 photoshoot for GQ. It was also featured in his music video for “Closed on Sunday,” where he was seen driving in it with his former mother-in-law, Kris Jenner. TMZ reports that West recently sold the EV2 to David “Heavy D” Sparks and David “Diesel Dave” Kiley of the Discovery reality TV show Diesel Brothers. In an interview with TMZ, Heavy D revealed that after picking up the tank, they discovered that it contains a built-in DVD player that plays a K-pop video on a loop, and they have no id...
Donald Trump Announces Debut DJ Sets at Mar-A-Lago
With his Twitter account permanently suspended, Donald Trump has had to branch out in order to fulfill his unwavering need for self-indulgence. The former president has, apparently, pivoted to DJing, and his first audience is his fellow members of the Mar-a-Lago Club. According to the New York Times’ Maggie Haberman, members of the Palm Beach, Florida resort received a notice advertising that “great music” would be played during dinner the weekend of Friday, February 4th, with “President Trump playing the role of disc jockey.” (Note the use of the word “president.”) See the full statement signed by No. 45 himself below. It’s unclear if this weekend marks a special event at Mar-a-Lago, or if Trump is just itching to spin some vinyl. Either way, we have a few guesses as to who migh...
Skrillex Photographed with Jordan Peterson
Skrillex was photographed backstage with Canadian clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson after attending one of his talks in Miami Beach on Thursday evening. “Good to see you yesterday @Skrillex,” tweeted Peterson on Friday. He later shared a photo of the two together with the caption, “Guess who.” Peterson’s well-articulated views on feminism, gender identity, and white privilege have turned him into a contentious personality favored by the far right and opposed by the left. Among other things, Peterson has expressed a refusal to acknowledge gender-neutral pronouns, has referred to white privilege as a “Marxist lie,” and argued for “enforced monogamy” to reduce male violence. He’s often spoken against the idea of “social justice warriors,” has scoffed at the notion of “Islamophobia,” ...
HitPiece Draws Ire of Musicians for Allegedly Selling NFTs Without Permission
A digital marketplace called HitPiece is allegedly selling songs as NFTs without the consent of artists or proper licensing. According to LinkedIn, HitPiece was co-founded by industry executive Rory Felton and Michael Berrin (formerly known as the rapper MC Serch), with the financial backing of Blake Modersitzki. The marketplace went live in beta in early December, offering fans the chance to bid on a “One of One NFT for each unique song recording.” This was news to many of the artists whose music is up for sale on HitPiece, and who only learned of the marketplace’s existence on Tuesday. Advertisement Related Video “Bottom feeding scavengers of late capitalism sucking the last marrow from our bones and/or running a scam on me, you, or everyone, because obviously, I didn’t approve this, and...
Wale Pulls Out of Festival After — Gasp! — Seeing His Name on Line Two of Poster
Wale the Great, Wale the Resplendent, Wale the consensus greatest poet in history, is pulling out of a festival for the unforgivable slight of burying his name on line two of the lineup poster. His Gloriousness Wale revealed his decision on Twitter after the Broccoli City Festival shared its roster. Don’t bother looking for his name — you might tear an eye muscle squinting to find it there on line two, nearly invisible in a slightly-smaller font than line one. “I’m Pullin out this show,” he wrote, randomly capitalizing the ‘P’ as only a genius could. When someone asked, “For why?” he summoned his full majesty for a crushing three-word response: “Respect is why.” Shakespeare — poor, wordy Shakespeare — bumbled his way through a similar sentiment when he wrote, “Mine honour is my life; ...
Machine Gun Kelly Changes Album Name After He and Travis Barker Got It Tattooed on Their Arms
Machine Gun Kelly owes Travis Barker a beer, a couple hundred bucks, and ideally, some new skin. Six months after the singer and his producer got the name of Kelly’s upcoming album, born with horns, in matching tattoos on their arms, Kelly has changed the title. MGK made the switch in a social media video seated alongside an unwitting Barker. “OK, we’re friends no matter what, right?” he asked the legendary drummer. “Remember when we got the new album name tattooed on our arms?” Barker keeled over in his chair, letting out a sound like air escaping from a balloon. “You changed –” he began, before Kelly slapped him on the back and confirmed his suspicion: “I’m changing the album name.” Advertisement Related Video The collection of songs is now titled MAINSTREAM SELLOUT&n...
Tucker Carlson Is Sending a Camera Crew on Tour with Kid Rock
One of the most moronic personalities in TV news is teaming up with one of the most moronic personalities in music. Fox News commentator Tucker Carlson has announced that the next installment of his Tucker Carlson Originals series will spotlight the controversy-ridden rap-rocker, Kid Rock. Carlson’s documentary crew is joining Kid Rock on his 2022 “Bad Reputation” Tour, which kicks off this March, vaccine mandates be damned. By the TV host’s twisted logic, Kid Rock’s homophobia, racism, anti-Semitism, and COVID-19 recklessness are all worthy of celebration. “One thing you never see in the entertainment business is anybody thinking for himself,” Carlson whined during Tucker Carlson Tonight over the weekend. “So when one of them stands alone, we applaud.” Advertisement Related Vide...
Kid Rock Threatens to Cancel Concerts Where Vaccine Mandates Are Enforced
When Kid Rock first announced his “Bad Reputation Tour,” I jokingly referred to it as the “Superspreader Tour,” which sent the Bawitdaba stans into a tizzy, because god forbid one questions Mr. Colostomy Bag’s attention to health and safety. Well, lo and behold, Robert Ritchie is now threatening to cancel concerts on his upcoming tour if venues dare to enforce vaccine mandates. In a video posted to Facebook, Kid Rock assured fans that he and his team did extensive research and are confident that they hadn’t booked a gig at a venue with an existing mandate; and if they had, that the mandates “will be done… by the time we’re going to get to your city.” “If they’re not,” Kid Rock continued, “you don’t have to worry, you’ll be getting your money back — because I won’t be showing up either! If ...
