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Trump Campaign Compares Itself to Death Star, Forgets Death Star Blows Up

Donald Trump, professional troll and occasional President of the United States, is running for reelection by comparing himself to fictional mass murderers. A few months ago he shared a video of himself as Thanos, snapping the Democratic half of the country into oblivion. Now, his 2020 campaign manager Brad Parscale has begun referring to Trump’s campaign as the Death Star, but Darth Brad has apparently forgotten the part where the Death Star blows up. “For nearly three years we have been building a juggernaut campaign (Death Star)” Parsacle wrote on Twitter. “It is firing on all cylinders. Data, Digital, TV, Political, Surrogates, Coalitions, etc. In a few days we start pressing FIRE for the first time.” He included a GIF of the Death Star then firing, leaving out all the space fascism and...

Amanda Palmer Uses Patreon to Announce Separation From Neil Gaiman

The Dresden Dolls singer Amanda Palmer and fantasy author Neil Gaiman have separated. On Sunday night, Palmer broke the news on her Patreon by revealing that Gaiman is living in the UK while she and their son quarantine in New Zealand. On Monday morning, Gaiman took to Twitter to express surprise at her sharing the news without his consent and he requested privacy moving forward. Allegedly an influx of queries regarding Gaiman’s location prompted Palmer to write the Patreon post and make it public, as she assumed that “he’s finally told the internet that he’s left New Zealand.” Palmer confirmed that she’s in lockdown in New Zealand with their four-year-old son, Ash, and said that their break-up is not a result of COVID-19 or lockdown. “All I can say is that I’m heartbroken, I really a...

Trump Tours Mask Factory Without Mask as “Live or Let Die” Plays Over Loudspeaker

If you thought Vice President Mike Pence refusing to wear a mask at the Mayo Clinic was peak ridiculousness for this administration, you should’ve known better. Today, Donald Trump visited a Honeywell factory in Arizona that had been converted to manufacture N95 masks. Not only did the president not wear a mask, he toured the facility while Guns N’ Roses’ cover of “Live and Let Die” played on the sound system. Because let’s face it, considering how little this administration seems to understand or respect science, why would we expect them to pick up on irony? According to Washington Post reporter Zach Purser Brown, the music playing over the speakers appeared to be the same playlist from Trump’s rallies — except “Live and Let Die”, which was newly added. “The White House must have picked i...

Jon Voight Calls Donald Trump a “Hero” For His Handling of COVID-19 Pandemic

By all accounts, the Trump administration’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic has been an unmitigated disaster. Already 70,000 Americans have lost their lives due to the virus, and thousands more victims are being claimed each day. And that’s not to mention the economic consequences resulting from a nationwide shutdown that happened two months too late. But in the warped reality that is Conservative Twitter, everything is just fine and dandy. Just ask Trump’s old buddy and recent Medal of Freedom recipient Jon Voight who praises the president as a “hero” for his handling of the crisis. Voight made the remarks in a new Twitter video called “A Message of Hope”, in which the actor showers Trump with praise that sounds like something you’d hear out of North Korea. Each sentence is more ba...